I’ve been thinking for about a month that I need to tidy the dressing room, there are clothes everywhere needing to be put away, the dresser needs another wash and the mirror needs cleaning… so what did I do today? Reorganised the lounge.

It all started when I was trying to figure out where we could put the Christmas tree this year, and I decided it would have to be by the front window. Where my pile of crap [PoC] was residing. The PoC consisted of magazines I hadn’t got around to reading yet, clothes I hadn’t got around to mending yet, books I had finished reading and needed to go back to the library, books I’m in the middle of reading, hundreds of bits of paper that could be used for scrap, CDs, picture frames, catalogues, presents I hadn’t got around to putting anywhere sensible… you get the idea.

So I sorted through my PoC, I got rid of things I didn’t need, I checked what was actually on the CDs [Weasel and I didn't know we had Seven Years in Tibet on two CD-Rs - they were so old none of our players would play them though, so I binned them]. I moved my desk to limit the space I had for future PoCs [leaving enough room for the tree of course] then Weasel showed up and we shifted her desk a little too. Then we got to talking about band practices and best ways to record stuff and Weasel said she’d been thinking of moving her and Doodle into the middle of the room instead of against the back wall. So we decided to move the dining table into the back by the wall instead and now we have this lovely open space in the middle of the room by the piano. I think it’ll make band practice much easier.

Having my desk at an angle is great, I can actually turn in my chair and see the TV again, I like watching things from the computer sometimes and I couldn’t before. The room doesn’t feel so blocky either, things feel softer.

I’m pleased with how everything here has turned out, but the dressing room is still a tip.

Neil [Gaiman NeilGaiman.com] linked to a YouTube video I rather like of the Helsinki Complaints Choir. You don’t have to watch the whole thing, but you must either fast forward or hold out until 2:10 – there’s a bit about mobile ring tones are all irritating sang in the tune of the default Nokia ring tone. It cheered me.

Weasel has gone off to see Jon and Horatio doesn’t arrive here until tomorrow so I’ve been on my own all day. Feels very strange. I feel very lazy and irresponsible, decadent. I wouldn’t want it all the time, but what a fun change of pace.

I spent a good chunk of Friday washing windows and window frames. I finished the back door at 2:40, so I took a short walk to post a letter before I had to call my Mom at 3. There was a man out walking his dog and he wouldn’t let dog stop and sniff. It really pissed me off. The dog had a very grim look to him, his little tail was down the entire time they were out and he wasn’t allowed to stop and sniff. The doggy got shouted at and hurried along. When I caught up with them at the corner, man was in a huge hurry to get to the shop and talk to the owner through the door. The dog just had to stand there. I said hi to dog but he didn’t seem capable of getting the energy up to be excited about anything.

So I got high for the first time yesterday. I think I probably could have before now, but I really didn’t feel like putting that much effort into acquiring it. I also can’t inhale properly to smoke. I tried smoking a few times when I was a teenager and I couldn’t get any smoke into me. No idea what I was doing wrong. Anyway, so Weasel got a ‘special’ brownie with ‘extra sugar’ [Save the Empire! Damn the man!] and we ate them yesterday.

I’m not sure what I expected; it wasn’t as pleasant as I thought it would be. First thing I felt was very dizzy. Then I felt sleepy. Then my throat went numb. My tongue felt huge. My eyes felt dry. We ate the brownies just before lunch time, so we made lunch and my god food was awesome! We had very basic throw in the oven foods. They tasted like god’s sweat! So then I needed to have mini-Mars bars. I was very very thirsty the entire time. The headache, nearly falling asleep and nearly falling over because of dizziness are things I could have done without.

Weasel and I spent the whole time watching Powerpuff Girls [I was wrong about my last episode count, I only finished season 5, so now we have 6 to work through]. The episodes became very surreal. I kept trying to fall asleep which was annoying.

Horatio and I had plans to play Settlers at 3, but my head was killing me, I couldn’t look at the screen. The headache wasn’t going away, so Weasel got me some painkillers and I went and had a shower. Nearly fell asleep in the shower. At some point we also had more garlic bread. It was amazingly good.

My headache felt better so I called Horatio and he wanted me to look over a presentation file he is… well, presenting next week. Everything in it was funny. I spent most of the conversation giggling. I also very much liked doing my Towelie impression. God how I laughed.

After that passed I was just left feeling very sleepy. Overall, it was okay, but I can’t really see the appeal of doing it again. Unless the headache doesn’t normally happen? It really hurt and I couldn’t do much about it because I was so dizzy. I felt very incapable and helpless.

Being thirsty all the time was annoying too, it was as if the water wasn’t really there. And the food craving! Everything tasted amazing. I chatted with Weasel about it and I thought it felt it was a combination of no food on earth could sound not good and the sensation of chewing and swallowing felt really nice. I ate very badly yesterday, I need to do better today.

I would be interested to know how the effect differs if one smokes it instead of eating it.

Weasel and I have been to the gym, I’ve had Shredded Wheat [eating better!] and now I’m going to do more homework. Strange weekend.

So I got my first assignment back again:

Please find enclosed your marked assignment 1. This is excellent work! You have passed the first assignment, and I now look forward to marking your second, whenever you feel ready to send it to me.

I feel sick. I was so anxious about this, you can only pass or fail and I wasn’t sure how many times I could fail before I’d be told to give up.

Guess I’ll be doing some coursework today!

So when Blanketgirl and I spoke on Tuesday I finally told her about Horatio and explained how it all worked. She reacted much like I hoped she would. She had a few questions which were difficult to answer. I think mostly she was worried about any of us [mostly me!] getting hurt. There is huge potential for that, but I took this path knowing it would ultimately lead to pain. I felt [and still feel] that the years of happiness that I get on the way to the pain are more than worth it. As Doodle says, we’re the most functional dysfunctional group ever.

I spent Wednesday feeling very strange about having told her. She asked for some photos of him, so I sent some along with a short e-mail. One of the things Blanketgirl and I end up talking about is how we interact with others because we tend to be similar. I have always lived on a ‘need to know’ basis. I only tell people things if they need to know them, otherwise I’m shut. This means that there isn’t anyone who ‘knows’ me. Weasel and Horatio know me more than anyone, but they know different bits of me and there are some things neither of them knows. Most of my stuff is random crap I did while growing up that has no barring on anything now, some things like my polyamory are more ‘secretive’ … having told Blanketgirl, I don’t think I could tell anyone else right now. I’ve often toyed with the idea of telling my colleagues but I just haven’t been able to. This sharing bits of yourself is hard and it left me feeling exposed and vulnerable. I don’t regret telling her, it’ll make conversations so much easier because I won’t have to guard my words so much and I can be completely honest, that will feel good.

Because of day light savings and bus schedules for my niece we have had to shift our calls to Thursdays. So we’re skipping today and heading straight to next week. I’m hoping she will have had a chance to digest everything more and things will still be okay between us. Happily this also means I have a chance to adjust and come to terms with my… nudity.

Also on Wednesday, I cleaned! Oh how I cleaned! I vacuumed under the computer desks, wiped them down, took Weasel’s computer chair apart and cleaned it, I vacuumed under the bed, I did the dishes, I dusted everything! My house is lovely. Now I just need to wash the windows, the condensation is leaving marks everywhere. That’s my plan for tomorrow.

Weasel and I had a fantastic short holiday at home. I worked last Thursday and today. Briefly, we:

• went on a cycling adventure to a National Trust site
• went shopping [for things we needed and budgeted for]
• mowed the lawn and some other gardening things
• cooked yummy, yummy foods
• watched movies [War Games! The Breakfast Club! Toys!]
• re-awoke our sex dragon
• got to know each other better and relaxed

Then I had to go back to work. Boo. Today was one thing breaking after another; I don’t think I managed more than an hour of proper work. I spent the rest of the time looking dumbfounded at my monitor wondering how the hell that managed to break when no one has touched it in over six months. R was in meetings all morning so I had to try and fix things myself. Thankfully all the fires got put out, the last one coming in at 4:15pm. Going home was the single sweetest thing I did all day. I did get to take Brock for a short walk at lunch… that was pretty sweet. Get to cycle home in the dark now of course. I got to try my MP3 player’s remote control and it worked at treat even with huge gloves on. I also got my pay slip – the second one in a row! They stopped giving them to us about two years ago and I just couldn’t be bothered nagging over and over again. And my taxes must have gone down because I made two extra pounds! Score! And R told me that he has ordered all of us flat screen monitors! Woo! And I get a new computer!! Double woo! My laptop is useless at running process heavy things [like the statistical analysis I have to run every month!] and some odd things like when I ask it to please display the list of fonts in Word so I can chose something other than Times New Roman. Loading that list takes ages. I am very pleased indeed. Would still rather find a way to be a house wife any day.

While I was at the gym on Wednesday I happened to see that the US is having an election next week. I didn’t even know one was coming up! So today I called to see if there was anything I could do and I missed the deadline sadly. Apparently, I have to apply for an absentee ballot with every election. So I am going to find the election days and make a note in my Rainlendar so I’ll know when to send off my form. I just didn’t get to vote [too young] while I was living there so I never figured out when elections happen.

I’ll finish on a happy, excellent note: Weasel got 100% on her first marked maths assignment! We’re so very proud!! Doodle is taking the same course and he got a 97% so clearly maths runs in the family. So very happy for both of them. I’m still waiting to hear back on my second attempt at my first assignment.