Scatter
Weasel asked me what I had planned for tonight and after a think I got to say, ‘nothing’. I’d decided that I was knackered and I didn’t feel up to doing homework and since tomorrow is my day off I plan to do my homework then. I also plan to make delicious peanut butter cups. I love Reese’s but I only get them when I have other things I need from the importer on eBay, so then I’ll have all the wonderful American food knocking around making me fat, then it gets eaten and I do without until I decide I need more Miracle Whip or similar. Anyway, I like to think that things I make from scratch at home are generally better for me [i.e. no extra salts, fats or preservatives] so I found a recipe for peanut butter cups which will début tomorrow. Yum!
As I was washing dishes tonight, I realised that I had a lot of non-chewable food today. Cream of Wheat, soup, vegan chocolate dessert thing and a yoghurt. I like to chew, this is weird.
I have been looking for a forum for years that meets the following criteria:
- Has at least a 50:50 woman/man ratio [or more women]
- Based in the UK [or at least has a strong UK presence - this is simply because I have enough friends I never get to see, I don't need to add to that list]
- The average member is between 20 and 40 years old – I’d like to get to know some adults now
- Members that will share my interests; like specific books, music, movies, exercise, cooking, gardening etc. My current forums are nice, but if I mention Tori [for example] most either a) don’t know who she is or b) don’t like her, so it is no good to me. With most of the members being teenagers they don’t want to discuss the latter three with me, they’re ‘boring’ topics.
- Active members that are active enough to keep it interesting but not so many that I can’t keep track of who is who
- Isn’t going to shy away from me and my not-socially-normal love life
I have since decided what I am looking for does not exist. Mostly because the British just do not behave in the ways that would make a forum like that successful. Blanket statements never work, so if you know of a good one please let me know.
I guess part of me will always feel lonely, but I do not have the energy or the inclination to invest myself too much into other people. Also, British types do not like it when you come on too strong and if I really like someone I’m not sure how else to do it. In the past I’ve tried being more aloof and taking my time, but that sort of translated into lack of interest and the relationship fizzled before it even started.
I’m all over the place tonight, clearly the ‘nothing’ plan has made me giddy.
this article just showed up in my lj friends list and you might like it: http://www.nerve.com/personalessays/eckel/platonicideal/
it has to do with the trouble of making friends, how it’s similar to dating but can be even harder at first. it’s funny because i have a hard time telling the difference between when i have a romantic crush on someone and when i’m just fascinated with a new person platonic-style. it’s especially difficult with girls. last night i talked to a new female friend i have one of those maybe-crushes on for two and a half hours! if she were a boy that liked girls, i would at least suspect she like-likes me, but i’ve got no idea how she swings.
there’s a former physics TA of mine i’d like to make into my friend, but without him necessarily thinking i’m inviting him out for a date… even though a date could be nice, friends tend to last longer. blarg.
“British types do not like it when you come on too strong and if I really like someone I’m not sure how else to do it”
“i have a hard time telling the difference between when i have a romantic crush on someone and when i’m just fascinated with a new person platonic-style”
I know the above two things all too well. I’ve about written off being able to make new friends in birmingham, to be honest. Very much know the lonely thing, too.