I have one drug I have to take regularly five times a day. I set a timer on my mobile to help me remember. I just spent the last 15 minutes with my phone sat in front of me ready to hit the stop button the second it went so I wouldn’t wake up the cutely sleeping Weasel.

Only to look at the clock seconds before it went and realise I was an hour early.

My next dose is 6pm, not 5pm.

All this drug taking is a challenge. I counted today, I took 14 pills this morning. I have another 10 to take over the course of the day. On Monday, I take the methotrexate, 10 pills of it alone.

At 3pm today I went to take my steroid and I again carefully read the instructions like I do every time and it said I needed to take two pills three times a day on days 4-6. I panicked thinking I took three this morning. I can’t remember well enough. So I thought, I’ll just count all the pills out for the remaining days and if I’ve taken one too many, I’ll take one less now, no harm no foul. I put the pills into neat pills for days 7-9 then tried to finish 4-6. I ran out of pills. I re-re-re-re-read my instructions. I’m positive I’ve been taking it correctly.

I woke up Weasel and asked for her help, we counted together. They’ve short changed me two days [six pills] worth of the drug. She’s going to call the doctor on Monday and get some more for me. Meanwhile, I took my dose as usual and all it okay. I’m where I ought to be.

Last night, at 11:30 I went to bed. My heart was pounding and the tightness in my chest was worse than ever before. Then I realised I missed my beta-blocker earlier in the evening. So if I was in any doubt about its helpfulness that this point I have been reassured.

This obsessing is definitely a new feature of anxiety that I haven’t had to cope with before. I’m trying my best to roll with the punches and talk myself down. Reassure myself that nothing is unfixable, nothing is the end of the world.