Friends in the UK – do you love films? I have two vouchers to LoveFilm worth £50 each to give away. If you’re interested, drop me an e-mail ezekiel[at]periwinkleblue[dot]co[dot]uk with your address and I’ll send one along. Weasel and I have been with them for a year and the service and selection is excellent.

Remember how I said that it could take 12 weeks for me to feel better and I was only in week eight… well, I was re-reading my methotrexate book and it’s actually 12 weeks after reaching the best dose for your condition. I’ve only been on my best dose for four weeks. Today is the start of week four. This makes me feel a little blue.

I’m sleeping better these days, but I’m still incredibly shaky. I’ve developed a very uncomfortable cough. My nose is swollen again, I’m douching three times a day to try and comfort it. My teeth have also started aching again. I’ve had a few paracetamol [over the counter painkiller] and I’m really hoping that I don’t have to move onto something stronger.

I’m so scared that I’m getting worse and that I’ll have to be admitted to hospital again. Nurse called, the swab I had done of the ear gunk showed a bacterial infection – joy. So keeping on with ear drops until ENT appointment next Monday. It has sadly made me a little more deaf. I can still use the phone though and there isn’t a lot of pain so headphones are still an option.

I’ve started the Christmas cards, I’m having a hard time because my hands shake so much. I’m also not 100% sure what I want to say. I’ve gone with, “2007 has been a rough year for us health-wise and we’ve had some deaths in the family. We’re hoping 2008 will be better. Hope you’re enjoying this holiday season.” It’s probably the best I can hope for.

I took my nose stud out while I was having so many people looking up my nose* and all those endoscopies. Once I got out of hospital and the swelling was gone I tried to put it back in again, but it has healed over somewhat and I couldn’t push my stud through. The dilemma now is do I wait until I’m 100% better [including having the saddle repaired] and have it re-pierced, do I just leave it out forever or do I wait until the current swelling is gone then open the hole again myself.

*This actually kind of amused me. I’d go to my various hospital appointments, the first doctor would look up my nose, then they’d take me to another clinic or call a colleague over and they’d look in my nose too. I think sometimes I had 10 people look up my nose in a day.

My heart has calmed down a bit since I switched to the slow release beta blocker. They had me get a ECG just in case there was something wrong with my heart. Happily the results were normal, my heart was running a little fast, but it is healthy. It doesn’t pound so much so I feel more comfortable.

Weasel and I tried to put Christmas up over the weekend. We managed to get the tree up, but it is naked still. I have very little strength and so I just end up watching a lot of the time. I could probably hang the ornaments, but I can’t do the lights and they really need to go on first. I don’t think we’ll do anything beyond the tree and the stockings, it is just too much for us this year.

I found a journal from a woman who lives near my home town in Idaho. It has been so fun reading about her life and recognising things. It’s like when I read The Smoke Jumper by Nicholas Evans. It was neat reading about things I know about. I guess if you live somewhere like New York or London you get used to media referencing your city, but I come from a very small place so it is still novel.