I decided today I’d write a list of things that make me happy or that I just enjoy, but my mind came up with nothing. Equally, I don’t think I could write a list of unhappy things. I think everything is just so spur-of-the-moment for me lately. I’m not used to this living each day as it comes malarkey. Or using words like malarkey.

I can tell you I’ve been watching Sex and the City, Eleanor lent all the boxsets to me; I’m 1/3 of the way through season two. Spoilers ahead for those of you who care. In season one Carrie broke up with Mr Big because he didn’t consider marriage an option at any point in the future and she wanted to be in a relationship with a future – so she broke up with him. That was the right thing to do and she handled it fairly well. In this season she misses him and ends up rekindling the relationship. She is annoyed because he doesn’t make room for her in his life. She has a point, he makes her carry around hair dryers, underwear, make-up, tooth brushes and lord only knows what else all day so she can spend the night at his place. So instead of talking about it, she starts leaving a few things there. It builds to a point and Mr Big packs everything up and brings it to her place and says its a few things she left. She says she left them on purpose and a few heated words are exchanged. Finally, she asks what he wants – he replies that he likes things as they are. Now, in almost every other relationship I know, the next question would be what does she want. He doesn’t ask and she doesn’t tell so they exchange more heated words and break up.

I know this is a huge over analysis of nothing of consequence, but my life is pretty empty at the moment so work with me.

I get so annoyed watching people who are supposed to represent certain aspects of humanity fuck up so badly. She is supposed to be successful, single woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. She definitely is not that.

I had an ENT appointment today. Nothing has changed in the last three weeks, so we mostly talked about my hearing [or rather the lack thereof]. I had another hearing test, my hearing is definitely still okay it is just glue ear in both sides. They would like to place grommets, but the last we knew my Vasculitis guy was against them. We’re not sure why, so when I see him next week I’m asking. Meanwhile, they’ve put me on the waiting list for hearing aids. The more I think about it today the more appealing they become.

The problem with grommets is that they will fall out within a year – possibly even a month after and my ears could plug up again and I’d be right here again. It is surgery and it damages my ear drums. Let’s day that this ‘flare’ of the WG calms down and I enter a quiet phase, the grommets fall out and I get a flare. Are my ears going to plug every time I get a flare? We don’t know. I’ve not had a quiet phase/flare cycle yet. The hearing aids don’t mean I can’t get grommets later. They will make it so I can hear people talking to me. I’ll be able to hear well enough to go shopping on my own with confidence again [I still can't get to the shops very well, but that's another issue]. I’ll be able to ride my bicycle safely. I still have a week to think things over and do some research. I’ll see the ENT guys in another six weeks, hopefully I’ll be seeing the audiology guys before then.

We had big plans, we were going to walk to the hospital for my appointment then walk home. We barely made it there. We were both coughing and very tired. Weasel called Stoat and he came and collected us. Very grateful for him and his willingness to drop everything and escort me [us] to various appointments. He is coming round at 7:45 tomorrow morning to take us to get the cyclophosphamide injection. I prefer him to drive us when the appointment is that early because it means I can sleep a little more. When you ideally want a minimum of 10 hours a night you have to plan for these things. I’ll be going to bed early tonight in anticipation. Additionally, I’ll be very lazy this weekend because these injections are known to kick my ass.

While at the hospital, I sang ‘a bachelor’s life for me’ to the tune of Hi-diddle-dee (An Actor’s Life For Me) from Pinocchio. When Weasel queried the bachelor part I said that it was great because you could replace any two-syllable word in the lyrics. So we went through several careers, like ‘shoe lace’ [I wanted shoe something and I was having trouble coming up with a related one-syllable word]. Anyway, we ended up in disagreement about ‘bachelor’; Weasel says it has three syllables and I say it only has two. The difference is in pronunciation – bach-e-lor vs. bach-lor. I wondered if it might be an American/British difference like ‘figure’ where I [American] say fig-ure and Weasel [British] says figger. We couldn’t reach a conclusion.

My quest to get to bed early tonight means I must go; I may be in an injection fuelled silence for the next few days. Come up with two-syllable careers in my absence. Thank you.