Because of my upbringing I wasn’t allowed to see any R rated movies – even after I turned 18. I used to sneak them into the house anyway. Obviously was able to go to the cinema with friends after 18 too.

Anyway, the point is that I missed out on a lot of classic films because they were deemed inappropriate. So to rectify this I’ve been adding these films to my LoveFilm queue. I had Mommie Dearest and Weasel and I have just finished The Graduate and we have Sophie’s Choice after that.

When Mrs Robinson said her line, “Would you like me to seduce you? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?” I recognised it and I said to Weasel that I did and it was in a song. I couldn’t think what song. When we were done I asked the internet.

It’s George Michael’s Too Funky.

I laughed. I crowed with delight and hilarity. The song was released in 92, it obviously made an impression on my 11 year old self. Oh lordy. Then of course YouTube had related videos so I had a listen to Faith – from 87! My 6 year old self was obviously hip with the current hits.

God bless my parents for ensuring I had access to great music my whole life.

I loved The Graduate by the way. Excellently written and I cannot fault Dustin Hoffman’s performance. He was incredible. I loved the Mr Gladstone bit in the hotel lobby with Elaine. Genius. I also got renewed appreciate of the Simpsons episode that satirised it. If you haven’t had the pleasure you must seek it out. And I already loved Simon & Garfunkel now I love them even more.

I finally wrote that letter to the private ENT doctor I saw last year. I wanted to tell him my eventual diagnosis so on the off chance he gets another person like me he might be able to diagnose them.

Weasel had a small alarm snafu this AM. Her alarm should have gone off at 7:21* and then she would change it to my alarm for 9:19*. I cannot hear the alarm clock. So the plan was really for her to wake me up. Anyway, something happened and alarms didn’t happen. I was having strange dreams about trying to swim to Neil Patrick Harris in people infested waters and I ended up hearing party noises with a bad 80s synth playing random notes. Turns out the party/music noise was coming from my ears. This is the first bit of serious tinnitus I’ve had in ages. The party woke me up and I actually thought, ‘jesus if I can hear it it must be loud!’

I looked at the clock, it was just before 10. My appointment was 10:45, so I got Weasel up and she booked a taxi and we did getting ready things really fast.

* So my whole live I’ve never been happy with an alarm on the hour or half past. I got up at 6:53 in high school. For work I set it for 6:42. When I was younger it came up and it turned out my whole family set the alarms for odd times. Love it.

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned that my family and I are hoping that Weasel and I will be in Phoenix with my whole family for Thanksgiving in November. The prices for plane tickets are very good right now. So today I asked vasculitis people if it was something I shouldn’t even be considering and they said as far as they were concerned I could plan on it – barring something completely unpredictable happening [which could happen]. They said I should check with the chest guys. I have an appointment next week so I’m hoping they’ll give me the all clear too and I can go ahead and book my tickets.

I plan to use this week to research travel insurance. I need a company willing to cover me and my pre-existing condition and that will be willing to cover the cost of my plane tickets if it turns out I cannot go. Cross your fingers for me, I’m desperate to see my family.

I spoke with my parents today. I told my Mom she needed to do that thing when you’re typing and watch your hands instead of the screen. I get creeped out by my hands when I do it. They’re toally moving of their own free will. They know the keyboard much better than I could ever hope to. We also talked about typing speed, she’s very fast, always has been. She said an online test put her at 113. I said the highest I ever got was 95. She told me she had interviewed secretaries who typed 30 or 35 words per minute. Crazy.

When I talked to my Dad I complimented him a few times and he always reacts by going really quite and in my head it is usually small person shuffling their feet. Embarrassed I guess. I called him on it and we had a giggle. My Dad really is an amazing man and I wish that I could know him better. I think we’re too similar so we have a hard time finding ways in. I’m very bad at letting people in.

So I was reading a blog [gag] today and it had the very long story of how this person started in blogging.

I thought about how I got started.

For a start, blogs didn’t exist. We had websites. Some of these websites features journals. Webrings were invented and we started meeting each other a little. I was on a fantastic mailing list and met some amazing girls. We were all 16, nerdish and socially questionable. Of course back in those days the content was the most important thing on your website, graphics took hours to download on a 14.4kbps dial-up link so it just wasn’t worth it.

I loved frames. I still do. Love love love.

I also love larger resolutions. Designing a site in 600×480 was awkward at best. I loved it when 800×600 became the new norm, then 1024×768 and so on.

I had a website from 1996. I taught myself HTML and figured out what I had to so I could participate in this medium I so loved. I didn’t have a journal at first, I had ‘essays’ for lack of a better word. I still have them… In fact, here is one of them, from August 1999.

12:36

one would think this time meant nothing. one would be wrong. ladies and gentlemen, we live in a digital age. we pray to the digital gods. those gods of time on the digital clock that means wishes will be granted. one looking at 12:36, could say that 1 + 2 + 3 = 6 everything in the digital world has meaning.

it started out with simple rules, any time the numbers on the clock are the same, you can make a wish and it’ll come true. 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55 etc. then the rules changed, what about 11:11 or 12:12? could wishes come true then? my belief is yes. i’ve expanded the rules. i lay awake at night, looking at the numbers change slowly, i grow excited at the thought of being able to wish on 1:11.

i don’t have a jesus or muhammad in my life, i pray to the digital gods.

I had insomnia and I’d sit and watch the clock for hours. I still do it and I still make math problems out of the time.

Anyway, it didn’t occur to me to save my websites or my writings somewhere else. I went through a phase of burning anything I wrote on paper too. So records are scarce. When I finally decided to start saving them it was December 1998. I have everything saved here for me. Since most of it was written while being a teenager and fairly angsty I doubt it’ll ever be published again, but I like having it for me.

I’m still annoyed that when weblogs were invented people started blurring the lines between them and journals and now everyone thinks they have a blog. I had a blog, it was for tracking interesting places I’d found online so I could share them with others – literally a log of my web activities. I’m never going to be able to think of what I do here as a blog, it isn’t for anyone except me. I have no given topic or theme. I’m not a writer. My site is just so I can record my thoughts and life as I move through. My journal is named Debbie and has been since 2001, before that it was Vandal and before that Bug.

Guess it doesn’t matter what I call it as long as I’m happy and it is filling a void for me.

On a completely unrelated note, I get to take urine samples to my vasculitis appointments [good times] so I’ve been sort of toying with the empty container as I sit here. Two reasons, a) I get fidgety if left to my own devices and b) so I remember to take it upstairs with me when I go to bed for filling in the morning. I played too loudly and Weasel glared at me. Pout.

I’ll probably get to have my blood tested again too! I still have marks on my hands from the injections I had in January… through to April. It’s very attractive.