I clearly need help. I deliberately planned to arrive here Thursday night so I could spend Friday resting. Then I could guarantee at least one good day with Horatio while I’m here.

So he leaves for work and what do I do? I sweep and mop the kitchen floor. I told myself it would be the only thing I’d do, it was just gross. Then I ate breakfast and went for a walk. When I got back I decided to have lunch. I couldn’t cook in the kitchen it was not clean. So I wiped down the sides, the kettle, the toaster, the stove and oven [even on the inside], washed the dishes and scrubbed the sink.

I made lunch. For some reason the smoke alarm was offended by my stopping cooking so it went off after the fact. I had to call Horatio at work because I didn’t know how to turn off the bloody alarm. Got it, watched two episodes of the American version of Who’s Line it is anyway? [not half as good as the British version] over lunch.

Then I noticed that the carpet could be vacuumed so of course I did it. Then I vacuumed the sofa cushions too. Then I vacuumed the hallway and bathroom for good measure.

What the hell is wrong with me? I had one thing to do today: rest. Why I have I cleaned half of Horatio’s flat instead?

I really want to wash his coffee table and computer desk, but I’m not letting me.

Sick sick sick.

I have got to think of a way to validate my existence that doesn’t involve a sponge or a vacuum.

The fact that I’m here tells you that the train ride went okay. Thankfully I could hear the train announcements even without my listening device. I got to my station no problems and met Horatio and we travelled on no problem. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I definitely needed the help with my bag, I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own.

It is now Saturday. I’ve had all my joints complaining at me today, I presume about the work I did yesterday. I haven’t been able to walk so far and my hips are very grumpy. We’ve just been watching old episodes of QI that I haven’t seen before; hilarious.

Horatio and I are still trying to find our rhythm together again. We haven’t had more than eight hours together since last September. I feel guilty about how much I need to rest so I keep pushing myself because I think he’ll think I’m boring or something. Plus because I’m in a different place I am all manic and adrenaline filled. I suspect that tomorrow or Monday I am going to crash impressively and have to spend a day in bed. Not Monday I hope because I have to be on trains home then.

Gah my brain is moving too fast and some combination on Horatio’s unfamiliar keyboard means I keep deleting paragraphs. I have no idea what I’m pushing, but since I do not wish to anger it further I am going to stop here.