So last night Tom Waits, my Dad, my cousin and I were sitting around and Tom was showing off his latest magic trick. It involved wearing a lot of ties and magically moving them to my neck, it was a sight. The problem was that my cousin kept stage whispering to my Dad asking who Tom was. I got really annoyed and I was like, ‘dude this [with pointing gesture] is Tom Waits – he’s right here’. She didn’t seem to get it.

He is quite the magician if you ever get the chance.

My counselling appointment went okay. She actually told me that after some thought she decided that trying to think of good feelings from the past may not be the best thing for me to do anyway because it would just highlight further how much I’ve lost to this illness. So the fact that I couldn’t think of good feelings became moot [cow's opinion].

We also discussed my realisation that it was more about learning to lower the expectations I had of myself and she agreed. So counselling is finished for the moment, if I decide I need further help I can call and make an appointment.

I usually feel 100x better once I’ve realised what my issue/problem is. Then I can work on correcting it.

My current goal is to try to treat me like I would anyone else. To allow myself to be human. Should be interesting.

Doctor’s appointments today went well, saw all three of them and it turns out I will only have one appointment in all of July! I think the last time I had a one appointment month was December 2006 – or maybe even November. I’ll be updating my illness page over the weekend with results of said appointments.

I was reading interview questions [as you do] and one of them intrigued me. It was ‘what you would you dis-invent and why?’. Good question. My answer: cars.

Oh yeah. We’re going to ignore the knock-on effects of a car-less society and just pretend that the world would be as it is now just without cars. Because this is my website and I make the rules.

No noise, no exhaust fumes, no road rage, no waste-of-space roads, no car accidents, no drunk driving…

We would have to figure out another way for people to get around, perhaps hovercraft of some sort. Or personal flying rucksacks like in the futuristic comics from the 50s. Ohh, I know, I want a flying carpet. Sweet.

I’d totally trade cars for flying carpets. All over that like white on rice.

Listening to The Crystal Method makes me think of two things. First, riding around in Dustin’s car in high school. We listened to their first album all the time. Second, the gym. I listened to Legion of Boom regularly. I totally can feel myself on the cross trainer or the rower. God I miss moving. I miss feeling powerful and capable. Get my lungs fixed and I am going to be unstoppable.

Weasel is going off to a fancy networking event for gay nerds tomorrow so I get a day and night by myself. I plan on doing what I always do, it’ll be pretty awesome.