When I sick and had to stop working I spent a lot of time panicking over money. I didn’t earn that much, but I felt so incredibly guilty for that little loss. So I joined a pile of survey sites. I fill out forms and they give me reward points or similar and everyone is happy.

One site has a mini-poll and a recent question caught my eye: Which of the following would you be willing to do for the person you love?

Move to a new country
Change the physical appearance radically
Convert to (another) religion or world view (e.g. Marxism)
Pay this person’s rent / mortgage
Break with your family / friends
Abandon your favourite TV program
Give up your career
Donate an organ to this person
I wouldn’t do any of those things

I already moved to a new country for love. The other three I’d be willing to do: abandon a TV program, give up your career and donate an organ. The others would feel dishonest if I tried to do them. Not saying others couldn’t do them, just saying I couldn’t.

I have started to do little things to get ready to go the the US. Like print our flight itinerary and contact details to put in our suitcases and photocopy my doctor’s notes to travel with my drugs. I upgraded my MP3 player’s firmware and added more music. I’m going to do laundry tomorrow. I’m going to try on clothes and try to figure out how much of everything I’ll need. I have finalised which shoes I’m taking [comfy all-weather for walking, sandals for lounging and cute heeled shoes for photos/dinner]. I call it progress.

I have my lung function test tomorrow – at 8:30! My sleep is so shagged right now, I didn’t get to sleep until 3 last night and slept until 11:20. I just cannot fall asleep anymore. Plus last night, I managed to fuck up my lower back again. I was in bed for 45 minutes, I got up to go to the bathroom and when I stood up my back was in agony. I’ve been resting today, I went for a 30 minute walk to see if it would help [it didn't]. Stupid back. So if I am lucky, I might get four hours of sleep tonight.

I was reading on the internet [as I do] and stumbled upon something that appealed to me. BlogSecret. Sort of like Post Secret, but blog sized and spread around. We’re all writing a post and sending it to a central place. We’ll each be randomly send someone else’s anonymous post to put up on our sites. I’ve had something I’ve wanted to talk about here, but couldn’t so this is ideal.

A list of all the participants will be published on the 18th.