Right from wrong
Eurovision was on Saturday. One of my favourite events of the year. I get very excited. Weasel and I made pizza, I had a Sprite and gin. I printed score cards from the BBC’s website. I adore the campiness, I love how seriously everyone takes it, I love the spectacle.
I was disappointed with our song, but it seemed to go over well, the UK got in the top five for the first time since 2002. I’ve only been watching for four years, so this was the first time I saw us get any decent points. My favourites were Israel and Armenia. I had several others I liked, but Weasel and I voted for them. Graham Norton did a fine job filling the shoes of Terry Wogan.
Did not like the song that won. Alexander Rybak of Norway played Fairytale. My problem is that I think it is a creepy, stalker song. The first line, ‘Years ago, when I was younger’ – this is an old relationship that clearly ended for whatever reason. Why hasn’t he moved on? It reminded me of Ben Ryan and his obsession with his ex-girlfriend. I am certain I have put too much weight into it all, but once the connection was made in my head I had trouble breaking it.
This got me thinking about love songs in general. I realised, I don’t really like the ‘traditional’ ones about how X can’t live without Y; how X completes Y and makes life worth living; how X was nothing until they met Y. I started listing love songs I do love and I saw that the love songs I love are more tributes. Love Song by The Cure or Somebody by Depeche Mode. Those two are more about the process, about the emotion itself. I don’t like the idea put forth by ‘traditional’ love songs of being so wholly consumed by someone else. It scares me.
I’ve seemingly given up sleeping properly, so I’m feeling really out-of-body. Horatio has been in Tokyo for just over a week and I miss him terribly. I don’t have a lot of friends, I miss having someone to talk to. We’ve been e-mailing the whole time, he even called once. I want him to focus on his holiday though, this is an amazing opportunity and I have no desire to distract him. But it means I miss him.
I miss having friends generally. Once I got ill I very quickly became no more fun. Even if I do feel like someone would spend time with me, I feel guilty because I can’t do much of anything. I can’t entertain them properly or be the hostess I want to be. I keep thinking of inviting some random American friend to come visit, but I invaribly end up asking why they would bother? They’d sit in my house with me staring at the walls. That’s not something I can ask of anyone.
I hate feeling lonely.
The other problem is I still can’t wear my left hearing aid, so even when I put the effort in I don’t feel connected because I can’t hear anyone. Last week at knitting it was rather warm in the cafe so we had the door open. All I could hear was traffic and passers-by, the talking in the cafe was drowned out.
I see my doctor tomorrow, so maybe he’ll tell me my ear is fine now and I just need to get re-adjusted to my hearing aid. Or he’ll tell me it is still swollen and I need to keep using the drops.
I’m scared for my pulmonary assessment on Thursday too. I haven’t been able to exercise very much since I’ve been feeling so poorly.
Things will get properly better one day, right?
Love songs are strange things. I’d say there are four types of love song:
1) Songs about the passion and emotion, a tribute, as you put it, to the love;
2) Creepy love songs – both the traditional ones, and the intentionally creepy ones that most people think are romantic;
3) Break-up songs – some are obviously breakup songs, but also I think some otherwise creepy songs are intended as break-up songs, in the context of the album (only everyone uses shuffle nowadays…). There are also some that are not so much breakup, but in the context of the album, they show a decline, almost, and so are less creepy because they are about the individual singing themselves.
4) Songs not so much about love, but about friendship and support
As Weasel will attest, there are two bands I obsess over – Kula Shaker and Savage Garden. I remember well that moment of revelation when I realised that Kula Shaker’s “Peasants, Pigs and Astronauts” was actually an early-into-the-break-up album. “Golden Avatar”, I came to realise, is such a song of adoration that it is creepy – but the mellowness of the music made me feel that it was more about struggling to get over that. And as for Savage Garden, the ride that Affirmation takes you on gives some of their songs quite different meanings in the studio album to the live one.
This line of thinking makes me feel sorry for Alexander Rybak – he played a creepy song, and the audience don’t get to hear it in context. Of course that said, he only won because his song was relatively safe – folk pop, lyrics that many considered ‘romantic’ (hah!), a cute appearance. It was nothing special – there just wasn’t anything else really amazing that actually appealed to lots of people. Win by default, basically
Looking forward to catching up with you in person again when I can afford to travel again
I agree with your assessment of love songs. I always found Clay Aiken particularly disturbing as a person, so listening to his “Invisible” song really creeps me out. I’ll offer a disclaimer here: if anyone reading this is a fan of Clay Aiken, I do apologize for any offense my statements may have caused. This is only my opinion you see.
That being said, if you’re not familiar with the artist or song, here’s a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ItnxlpAc8
Perfect example of stalker love song. Romantic or evidence? Hah!
I can’t wait to see you. I will come and sit with you in just a few short months. We’ll just stare at each other and love every minute. Is that weird? Inspiration for another odd love song?
Love you!! xoxo
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