Last Wednesday. NIN/JA.

Resting all day in preparation for a night of excellence.

Missed the 5:15 train, got the 5:45. London is very busy. Raining. Get splashed with cold rain walking to the Underground. Get to O2 Arena. Huge. People everywhere. Weasel is left outside to meet with Holly. Doodle and I head inside. Ask where Customer Services on Level 1 is so I can get my hearing loop. Head towards Entrance H; walk for miles passing restaurants, bars, cinema and roller skating rink.

Arrive. Place bag on table for security. Coughing lots because of huge unexpected trek. Guard looks at me, my bag and tells me to ‘go ahead and take your lungs with you’. Doodle and I go up and see merchandise stall, but decide to sort out loop first. Pass our 110 entrance in favour of 118 to find Customer Services. Trade credit card for hearing loop. Walk back to merchandise stall. Buy beautiful olive green tee-shirt. Jealous of Doodle’s beautiful NIN messenger bag. We find our seats after some confusion.

Sitting is good.

Jane’s Addiction is not good. Me to Doodle: ‘Did he really just grab and thrust?’ Weasel to me: ‘His voice has not aged well’ and ‘He is an hyperactive oversexed 12-year-old!’ Me to Weasel: ‘No offence to 12-year-olds.’ Me to Weasel: ‘If he hadn’t told us that that was Been Caught Stealing I wouldn’t have known.’ After five songs I suggest we go find some food. Everyone agrees. Leaving provides palatable relief.

Pizza. £6.90 for 8″ pizza – four pieces. We buy two and get two piece each. Three bottles of water. Not enough, but can’t afford more. JA finishes and people flood out. We go back and sit down.

People watching. Man has brought his baby. Baby is swaddled to his chest. Not cool. Counting beer sales people in the standing section.

NIN. Wow. Excellent show. I couldn’t stand so I ended up looking at the backs of the people in the row in front of us. We were technically on the second row. I did managed to stand for five songs – my favourites like Terrible Lie, Head Like a Hole and Hurt. Best performance I’ve ever heard of Hurt. We were all singing along. Was moving like church. People had their mobiles open like lighter flames from the 60s. Incredible.

Stupid man two rows back decided to have a cigarette. I told one of the ushers. I presume he had a warning. He started another one a while later. I told the usher again. Man was removed from the venue. I’ve never had someone ejected before. I’ve had people cautioned though. I’m of the belief that one goes to gigs for the music, some people disagree.

The end. I had to go return my listening device. We joined the crowd heading for the Underground. There were crowd control measures in place. We started worrying about missing our train home, so we tried to get a taxi. No luck. Back to the queue. Made it on a train. Changed trains quickly at London Bridge. Weasel was panicking about missing train, I realised it might be because she was thinking that our train was at 12:04, it was 12:07 and in the world of trains three minutes helps. Got off the Underground and I did my best to hurry. It was the first time I really pushed hard since my lungs went. It was a very bad feeling. I did not enjoy it. My legs stopped working and I couldn’t breathe [of course]. We got on the train with at least seven minutes to spare.

We debated about getting a taxi home from the rail station, but the problem is that calling one and waiting for it would take the same time as just walking. So we walked. Saw two hedgehogs. So cute. Doodle went straight to bed. I had a sandwich. Had to calm down. Bed at 3:30.

Thursday 9:30 wake up. Internal clock has decided to start working again and wakes me between 9:20 and 9:45. Exhausted, body hurts. Have appointment with doctor to discuss depression. Was going to cycle, but wanted Weasel to go with me so had to walk*. Tried my best to explain what I’m feeling. He put my antidepressant up from 40mg to 60. Arranged for information about therapeutic work. This is undemanding work that can be taken up with medical supervision. I’m very keen in theory.

* She still had stitched in her leg and couldn’t cycle. Got them out on Friday and she is healing nicely.

Afterwards we wandered around a home improvement shop, very fun. Got plant food for my herb garden. They’re doing really well [I think]. We’ve had a little coriander so far. I think my basil might have been overwhelmed by the rocket.

I’ve started my four day food diary for my dietitian appointment on Tuesday. I put if off as long as I could because it drives me crazy doing diaries. Did you know that a serving of Special K is 30g? I normally have about 100g. Ah well. I’m going to take the two diaries I kept before too. Very scared.

Will get to see new Harry Potter on Tuesday with Weasel and Doodle. Exciting!

Horatio has left today for his holiday. Miss him.

Fergus is wonderfully cute. He says ‘woof’.