I’ve been puzzling over something for about a week now. Everyone has probably noticed that the US celebrated Thanksgiving last week.

On one hand, I’m annoyed that I was lied to for so long and that the myth of ‘The First Thanksgiving’ has been allowed to continue for so long. A genocide isn’t something to be celebrated really.

On the other hand, I really enjoyed having a day off with my family to cook, eat, talk, play and relax. Those are my primary memories of Thanksgiving growing up. I can also totally get on board with a day devoted to acknowledging all the good things in your life. Family, friends, health, safety, happiness, good food, warmth and many, many other things.

The thing that gave me pause? Several bloggers wrote about their Thanksgiving and specifically thankfulness to god for providing healthy children, safe homes, stable jobs, etc.

This bothered me because the implication there is that god doesn’t like/care about all his children. Those without health care, without homes, without jobs, without food, without safety are just not important or perhaps just not worthy.

I couldn’t get my head around the idea of being grateful to a god for giving ‘me’ so much while at the same time denying so much to ‘you’. I brought these thoughts to Weasel yesterday and she said she knew what this concept was: prosperity theology. Simply put, “Prosperity theology proponents promote the idea that godliness and prosperity have a causational relationship.”

I was also confused that these people seemingly took no pride in their efforts. We work hard, earn money and therefore we have food. We have access to clean water, health care and have good genes, therefore we have healthy children.

It also works on the flip side, what about amoral people who are prosperous? God favours them because… they bathe daily?

So be thankful and grateful for good things in life by all means, but don’t credit god with everything. Like the Rev. Frank Scott [Gene Hackman] in The Poseidon Adventure says, “Get down on your knees and pray to God for help and then maybe everything will work out? Garbage. Not where l come from. You could wear off your knees praying to God for heat in February. And icicles would grow from your upraised palms. If you’re freezing, you burn the furniture – but you get off your knees.”

I can tell you that a watched pot does, in fact, boil.

I watched it with some interest today. It starts out doing nothing. Then little bubble show up on the surface and they dance. They are attracted to one another, they spin and attract more then pop. This went on for five minutes.

Then bigger bubbles started to appear. They moved to the surface and their dance was not so agreeable. When two bubbles met they became one instead of moving on to another partner. The new bigger bubble would keep absorbing new partners until it couldn’t hold anymore then pop. This too went on for five minutes.

Eventually, instead of coming to the surface individually, columns developed. These were moving so fast that you couldn’t see anything happening, just a gentle vibration on the surface.

Then the real magic happened, the bubbles left altogether and the surface was rolling and roaring.

I dumped the pasta in and that was the end of the show.

I am flying. In the last week I have been able to change so much and dear god I love change. This is all thanks to my wonderful therapist. She has helped me so much in organising my thoughts.

I have a voice lesson scheduled for the 7th of December. She’s coming to my house, she knows I have my lung condition and hearing issues and she still seemed optimistic. I have two others to try if she doesn’t work out and there are many more that weren’t on my initial short list.

I have a beautiful craft area set up in the library. I went upstairs today thinking of drawing something, but I was not inspired. So I got the sewing machine out and I’m happy to report, that I managed to get a lot more of the shirt I started over the summer done. I need to finish one arm hole [it is sleeveless], tidy up the neckline, hem the bottom and I’m done. I didn’t have to clean up after either because it is where it is supposed to be.

I met Doodle at the pool yesterday and I think I’m going to be able to do it. I’m going to have him sign me in the first two or three times, then I can buy a pass for 20 swims for £30. I figure if I use them all in six months then I’ll apply for membership. I like the idea of being able to meet up with Doodle to go swimming too.

Regular jEn recently wrote about some amazing daylight full-spectrum light bulbs. As Weasel and I tend to feel fairly gloomy at this time of year I decided to check them out. I bought three 30w bulbs from MyGreenLighting.co.uk. jEn even provided a voucher code for 5% off; if anyone wants it: MAH EGA. They are wonderful and have completely changed our rooms. Be warned though that the smallest bulb is 10cm long, we’re buying new light shades.

I’m very close to making an appointment with my GP to talk about reducing my antidepressant again. I think I could cope on my original dosage now.

Doodle, Weasel and I were reviewing the shows we have coming up and it cheered me up a lot. We have Eddie Izzard in December, Depeche Mode AND Imogen Heap in February and Tom McRae in March. Very excited for the later two because they’re local and since I’ll need my wheelchair my carer gets in free. Makes everything much easier for all of us.

Sweet jesus I lost track of time! It has been 11 days since I wrote anything. I thought it had been like five.

So let’s see, I have been to Horatio’s and back again. I’ve realised I spend whole weekends with him exhausted because I am too wimpy to ride the bus. I walk from my house to the rail station then from Leeds station to his house. The stress of travel coupled with two hours of walking means I am pretty tired. Normally, I’d rest for a few days and I’d be okay. But when I’m with the boy, there are things to do! I had been assuming it was sex because that requires a fair amount of flexibility and movement. Wrong, wrong, wrong. So I will have to suck it up and ride the bus. Grumble.

Book club met last week. We read Gentlemen & Players by Joanne Harris. Was delightful in a black comedy sort of way. I’m not going to be able to go next month due to Hearing Dogs for Deaf People inspection. I’ve been trying to get someone else in the group to manage the meeting and no one is willing yet.

I had another very successful therapy appointment last week. I’ve even managed to do some of the things I was supposed to; for example, I’ve arranged to meet with Doodle on Friday so I can tour the swimming pool at the hospital. I’ve been putting this off because of some fears, baby steps. I’ve also decided to get an old desk out of the loft and set it up in the library with the sewing machine and other crafty/arty things. I’m hoping the dedicated space will encourage me to actually do something. Finally, I’m going to try to get a voice teacher again. I need help getting my breathing adjusted to my new lungs and I want to strengthen my voice and get my range back. I’m going to make calls tomorrow.

Sign language classes are still very excellent. We learnt family members last week. We’re having an assessment in a fortnight. Only slightly nervous; I keep reminding myself that I’m learning so I can communicate not for the qualification.

I’ve been reading with some dismay the response to the health care bill from the house. It makes me sad that women continue to be the lowest priority. It makes me sad that they’re trying to make it even harder for women to access legal medical care. It makes me sad that they are so concerned about whether or not a woman chooses to have an abortion that they forget to ensure that women have access to birth control. I feel very glad to have got out of the US when I did, but very sad for all the friends and family I left there.

First off, if you’re in the UK please sign this Number 10 petition to Add Body Confidence to UK National Curriculum:

A proposal for a new compulsory hour per year in the PSHE curriculum that will deal with the problems teenagers face when it comes to their appearance. The lesson will attempt to tackle confidence issues early so they don’t have a chance to develop, so young people in the UK will not be held back by their lack of self esteem and self belief.

I really, really hate how people use the word whore. A quick Google search revealed:
WOW whore
Fame whore
New Orleans whore
FaceBook whore
Attention whore
Comment whore
Blog whore
Consumer whore
Man whore

Let’s think about this logically shall we? A whore is one [male or female] who exchanges sex/sex acts for money or goods/services. So presumably, a WOW whore is someone who gets WOW payments made in exchange for sex. A comment whore will pleasure their visitors in exchange for a few lines that may or may not have any value. FaceBook is free to use, so whoever is giving it away for FaceBook has not thought it through.

I cannot figure out what makes anyone want to take a word that can only really have negative implications and apply it to themselves. I understand taking words back. That’s what all us gay folks did when we decided that we’d call ourselves queer first. I think it is great.

Whore though? Really?

I just keep thinking that we all live in a rape culture and diminishing words like this can only sustain and perpetuate it. How many rapists have got away with it because their defence attorny was able to convince a judge/jury that the victim was a whore simply because [s]he had multiple sexual partners? And because of all that slutty experience they were clearly asking for it and incapable of saying no.

Happy thing:

Dogfish would be perfect pet for rental places that allowed fish but not other pets. I could put it in a tank whenever I had an inspection and otherwise have an awesome doggy companion.

Speaking of awesome doggy companions, I got a letter from the hearing dogs people. I’ll have my home inspection on 9th December.

I finally recovered from Monday on Friday.

Sign language classes are going really well and I’m enjoying myself immensely. We learnt descriptors and measurements yesterday. I can ask someone how tall they are now.

Therapy on Thursday was awesome. I really like my new therapist and she is being incredibly helpful. I had a few very interesting insights.

Weasel and I cleaned out the shed today. My wheelchair lives out there now, everything is tidied and logical. We have a lot more room than I thought we did. Very very pleased, but already know I will be paying for it tomorrow. Ah well.

I had an excellent day on Monday. I did laundry, I cooked some awesome food [home-made hot-dog buns and sweet potato chips], I went for a nice long walk, I did laundry, I started mending my socks, I sorted through all my clothes and put away my summer ones and put several winter ones that no longer worked for me aside for charity. Tuesday came up and gently but firmly let me know that I really enjoyed Monday rather too much and I would have to pay the price.

I tired to be gentle, I only had one thing to do [go to the library] and otherwise I could rest. I managed to get some more socks mended [finished today] and I got some wonderful books. I rested.

Today I woke up and I was informed that I really hadn’t rested enough and I shouldn’t have enjoyed Monday so much.

I was scheduled for the first of the H1N1 vaccines today. So I rested as best I could all morning. I watched TV, I listened to music. I still did the dishes because I felt guilty about not doing them yesterday. Which is stupid because it is my back/shoulders that’s complaining. While Weasel was making her lunch yesterday she said she’d run out of mustard [we have a wide variety all the time, I'm amazed we ran out] plus we ran out of floss and I’d used all the onions. So after my injection I went to the grocery store. Carried around a basket because they don’t have small trolleys for free use*. I just managed to get to my bike and home. I’ve put the stuff on the counter and I’ve had to sit down.

* Their trolley options are not useful for me. There are four options:

1. Big trolley, unwieldy, heavy and deep requiring a lot of bending over
2. Little trolley, requires a pound coin to use [you get it back when you return the trolley]
3. Disabled trolley that clips onto a wheelchair [I've used it, awesome - but there are only two and the last time I went there was a non-disabled woman pushing one around the shop]
4. Baskets – okay when empty, but very hard on the hands/elbows/shoulders/back when full

I do not carry cash with me as a general rule, I use cards everywhere. I have one penny that I got as change once. Note to self: get pound coin from Weasel at next opportunity. Oh there’s another layer to this madness too. If I cycle, I have a detachable pannier that I take into the shop with me. I fill it up as I check out. A full pannier is often too heavy for me to carry so I leave it in the trolley and wheel it to my bike. I put the pannier on my bike then have to leave it all to put the trolley back so I can get my pound coin back. They’ve made it fairly difficult to do the shopping safely and conveniently for cyclists.

… I clearly have issues around shopping that I needed to get off my chest.

So yes, Monday good, pity I have to pay such a heavy price for it.