Damn and blast, I buggered up the date yesterday and didn’t publish my Eight days post. It was written, it just didn’t go up. There now, but man, I wanted to get this right.

As you probably surmised from what was supposed to be yesterday’s post, Weasel entertains me rather a lot. I like to think it works both ways.

Weasel: “What does the ‘H’ in Jesus H. Christ stand for?”
Me: “Julio.”
W: “That starts with a ‘J’.”
M: “No, it doesn’t. Listen to it, ‘Hooo-li-o’.”
W: “Really? I swore it was a ‘J’.”

Five minutes of back and forth later…
M: “Okay, I might have lied, Julio does start with ‘J’.”
W: “I knew it!”

I have what Weasel calls ‘deadpan’ – get it from my father. She knew I was wrong, but I was so convincing. So now we say Jesus Julio Christ. Although, surely that should be ‘Hey-soos’ not ‘gee-sus’.

To help her deal with the deadpan, we’ve implemented a system my parents have used for years. My Mom can ask my Dad, ‘Honest, truthful?’ and he has to say whether he is lying or not. So now Weasel uses this method to deal with me.

Several years ago, plushie toys of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman characters were being produced. We delightedly bought Dream and Daniel. Then Death and Delirium. I even had a little play for Dream and Daniel to act out. Awesome. We were discussing the inherent awesomeness of Sandman plushies…

M: “I wonder who they’ll release next.”
W: “They’re releasing all the ‘D’ ones, so maybe Destiny?’
M: “… sweetie, they all start with ‘D’.”

Finally, I’ve developed what can only be described as a tick. Someone says something and I come back with, “You’re a[n] …”. It is a sickness. So Weasel, Doodle and I were walking home from the NINJA show in July.

W: “We’ll need to set up a bed for Doodle when we get in.”
M: “You’re a bed for Doodle.”
W: “Your Mom’s a bed for Doodle.”

A pause.

M: “Yes. Yes she is.”

I told my Mom about this the next time I talked to her and oh how we laughed.

I have hundreds of stories like this. Weasel and I work very well together to create comedy gold. She’s really awesome.