Pro tip: You cannot put an ear bud in if your ear already contains a hearing aid.

I am starting to feel ‘normal’ again. I’m still coughing impressively. I like to wiggle my eyebrows at Weasel and say, “I’m so hot, no wonder you married me.” Then we laugh. And I probably cough again.

I’ve been watching films. I finally saw Citizen Kane; not entirely sure why it was so acclaimed. Lisa was right though, there was not cane in Citizen Kane.

I did a fancy thing. I’ve installed Wamp server software on my computer and a local copy of WordPress. Now I am designing my new layout without upsetting my host. This is even better because if things go according to plan I will get to help Mary build her virtual assistant website and now I’ll be able to do it comfortably.

Today was therapy day. I hadn’t realised how much better I was doing until I sat down to discuss it. She described my day-to-day activities as ‘busy’ which surprised me, I feel so… lazy for lack of a better word. I’m going to continue to record my activities, but adding ratings for fatigue. I am feeling better; hopeful, excited in some places. It creeped up on me. She also gave me another tool, a responsibility pie. I’m to take something that is making me feel bad or guilty, and dole out pieces of the pie to people/things that are responsible. I get my piece last. So if I think I’m 90% responsible for something, I can use the pie to see if that’s true. If I could think of an example, I’d totally put it up.

Weasel has gone out dancing tonight so I get to indulge in mashed potatoes for dinner. Yum!

I have been dilated!

My throat is very sore, but I can feel that my breath isn’t being ‘caught’ on it as much. I’m coughing a lot as is usual after these things, I’ll know how things are in a few days.

Out of context, the previous lines are actually really kinky.

We’re of course talking about my lungs and my tracheal stenosis. Which is what my discharge papers called it.

It was fairly standard as far as hospital stays go. I had some nice room-mates and we talked for hours and hours [which might be why my throat is still so sore]. We asked for toast at about 10pm just because it sounded yummy. I walked the corridor after midnight because I couldn’t sleep. The next morning I went to see my ENT, I have an ear infection. My right ear started making buzzing noises in December and it hasn’t stopped. Happily, this infection hasn’t hurt. I have ear drops and I’m not to swim or wear my hearing aid for a fortnight. After that I went to see vasculitis; my blood tests were normal, despite the wrist pain. So the plan is to decrease the steroids by 1mg ever two weeks stopping when I get to 2mg.

I’ve been sitting and watching TV/movies since I got home yesterday. Feeling very floaty, which I expect is from having all the anxiety and adrenalin.

The best part is that I get to go and do it all again in 12 weeks!

I had a huge bit if inspiration last week and decided I’d create a new layout here. I was just getting into the groove when my website stopped coming up altogether. I figured there was some server issue, it was late anyway so I went to bed. My site was still gone the next day, so I called my host and it turns out that I had been logging in too much. They unblock my IP, I start editing again and the same thing happens. Repeat this process five more times [including once at Horatio's house] and you have the reason I haven’t updated. I’m scared of logging in and losing access. Plus, I’m sick of this layout and I was really excited about my new one.

Horatio and I had a very nice visit, difficult in places, but totally worth that. I think he is much happier now overall which is the main thing I’m taking away. I made a fantastic garlic soup for our entertaining engagement on Sunday. Really pleased with how it turned out, I’m totally making it again sometime.

Horatio had to spend a big chunk of time working this weekend and I realised why having Weasel work from home was so hard for me. I feel like I’m in the way. I want to go about my day as usual and I feel like I can’t because it’ll distract her and take her away from work. So no piano playing, little TV watching, quiet quiet quiet. So we talked about it and I’m going to do whatever I feel like [within reason] and if she doesn’t like it she can go to work. Except I wasn’t so blunt and we had a very nice chat that will make us both more comfortable.

I started a nice big dish of roast vegetables yesterday only to discover that my aubergine was rotting from the inside out. Very gross. So I got some leftover wraps from the freezer, made some rice and called it dinner. Today I got a new aubergine and a courgette and now everything in smelling very tasty. I have some toasted onion baguettes to place them on and halloumi and goats’ cheese to melt on top.

I’m going into hospital tomorrow for my dilatation. I’m oddly nervous. I’ve done this before, I’ve recharged everything I want to play with, I’ve booked my taxi [6:45!] and have all my papers. There isn’t even that much riding on this, my doctor has told me that this probably won’t have any noticeable effect on my breathing.

I’ve had a sneeze lurking in my right nostril all day. I’ve tickled it and sneezed several times, but it insists it needs to go again. I’ve tried rising my sinuses. It’s making my right eye water. Gah.

Really need proper sleep tonight, it has been too long.

For the first time in my … 11 years* of writing on the internets I get to participate in a delurking day!

* Jesus Christ! 11 years!? December 1998 never seemed so far away.

Anyway, leave a comment just saying hi or anything else that comes to mind. If you’re stuck, tell me what you put on your perfect slice of toast. I had plain old butter this morning and it was heavenly.

A special ‘thank you’ to Horatio for posting this for me. Apparently, my host has decided that I have tried logging in too many times [I'm totally not logging in too much!] and has blocked my IP address. For the third time in less than 24-hours. Not happy.

Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday, I did not have to wear my hearing aids. This is because Weasel went out to set people on fire*. I had the whole house to myself. I celebrated by reading, masturbating, having a very late shower and eating toasting cheese sandwiches dipped in leftover pizza sauce.

* She may have been going to put people out once they are on fire. I’m not clear on the details.

BlanketGirl has been going round finding all the BigFish free game offers and sending them to me [and others]; I installed almost all of them and I started Azada. Very fun for me and friendly to my no spare cash situation.

Speaking of no cash. This is because we paid off my computer [cleared our savings account] and had Christmas and birthdays. Hopefully, we’ll be normalised by March. Meanwhile, Weasel has an appointment regarding her getting a tooth implant and that will take a little longer to recover from.

I try not to end sentences in prepositions, but I am not always successful. And I personally think ‘always’ is a word. ‘Alot’ is not though.

I’m going to make mushroom burgers this week and roast veggies with couscous. We’re heading to the shops very soon.

I am very tired. I think it shows. I am also nervous for my pre-op appointment tomorrow and vasculitis on Tuesday. I really don’t want to be having a flare.

Weasel and I have a shiny new ISP! One that costs less than our old one and has faster speed and greater bandwidth! Shiny shiny.

The things I write here are not normally amusing and I think part of that is because I do not interact with people. I don’t like doing it, they piss me off. So I don’t get to describe encounters with mechanics or school teachers or children. I could tell you about the asshole I saw driving along talking on his mobile even thought it has been illegal to do so in this country since 2003. I could tell you about the other asshole I saw walking along in the cycle path on a main road in the opposite direction of traffic simply because his hipster shoes didn’t offer enough grip for him to use the snowy pavement. My four year old Doc Martens did just fine though.

There were many kitty paw prints in the snow. Those were cute and provided a balm for the anger I felt at my fellow humans.

I was walking to therapy and back again. My hands are still fucked so that makes cycling challenging on the best of days, add in the snow/ice and it just wasn’t going to happen. I’m pleased to be home now for the rest of today.

Therapy was good. We talked more about ways to encourage excitement, recording my achievements and enjoyment levels of day-to-day life and how to learn to let people just be different instead of bad or good.

Sign language starts up again tomorrow. I am excited, but I am also concerned about how I’ll do it with my hands all angry. Stupid hands.

I keep misspelling words and using the wrong ones, I’m going to blame my hands and leave it there.